peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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