idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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