Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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