I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
