Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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