did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
