he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
