Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
How's work?
Spinning.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize