Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
