Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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