Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
