watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
