i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize