so explain again why im purple
no
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
