I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Say something about gay babies.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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