So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
