JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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