CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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