im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
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