cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Houston, we have a blender
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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