Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Randomize
