Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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