We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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