..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
