when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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