i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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