His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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