So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
