So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
