soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
