I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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