Your mouth is God's brothel.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize