Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
