Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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