Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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