I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
