I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
