I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
