There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
