Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
