im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
