Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
