I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
