you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
