We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize