I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I touched a dick in church today
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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