i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
did i just pee glitter
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
