In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
