Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
