Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize