I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
