one two three fourrrrnication!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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