Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize