Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
