So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
