she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
