also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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