It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
