I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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