office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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