so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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