bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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