I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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