we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize