You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
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