a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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