I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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