sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We got so high we made milksteak
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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