Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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