Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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