What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
