Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
